Far be it for me to criticize public figures and politicians from taking a quick cat nap every once in a while. I’ve been known to count sheep during meetings with my political staff, speeches, public events, weddings, funerals, and bat mitzvahs. Being a Mayor is tough on a guy. But as of yet, I’ve been un-photographed, unlike these poor souls: [MOAR]
1) I love full bodied women. Actually, I love all sorts of women. My standards are pretty low. I can’t really understand really picky men.
It’s like food. Some of it’s amazing. Most of it’s good. Some of it’s bad, but you eat it anyways because you’re hungry. Overall, I can’t imagine turning down food, and I definitely can’t imagine not trying new things, or enjoying food for what it is. Same thing with dames. But I digress.
2) I just lost 25 lbs. It was actually, really easy. All I had to do was put my mind to it and dedicate.
3) Women of shape are hot.
4) Some of the women are a little ditzy and victimish.
David Hasselhoff not only has a special place in my heart. The hoff has a timeshare in my heart where I sell it to other people and give him the money. David is so special to me, that I eat lard drenched burritos to have heart attacks so that my scar tissue can be removed such that my heart is smaller and more likely to die in his honor and pass away in a cardiac effigy for my love for him.
That being said, I feel equally devoted to the titalating.
Merge to perfection:
via [googling burlesque; I wish that I had a random search generator, because it is always interesting]
Scene: A poorly lit room is filled with 4-8 year olds. They are watching Saturday morning cartoons. A video tractor beam is projected onto their face, originating from the screen. They are slowly floating towards the television.
In walks dad with a dozen donuts. It’s family time! Hooray, your children will temporarily spend time near you because you peddled them sugar. Now watch them bounce off the walls for the next three hours.
It’s disgusting, but it’s a 0/10 compared to, oh say the childrens’ crusade.