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It's weird. I've had this comic on the back-burner for almost two months. This same weekend, I started working on a flash-puppet on the same content matter. The flash puppet should be out in beta form by the end of the week. It's kind of like sticking your hand up George Bush's ass and making him talk, but without all the stinkyness and soap (I hope you would use soap).

At any rate, enjoy this weeks comic. It's more of an alternate reality piece than satire, but I will forgive you if you laugh. I should also let you know that the default macro for spellchecking in my text editor (Wonder-Edit 5000 Pro-Gold) is the same macro for deleting a line in "vi". I hope that in the future I don't accidentally unplug myself from life support when I'm trying to spell-check.

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This week's comix is about the Blizzard Entertainment Gay, Lesbian, BiSexual, and Transgendered debacle (They temporarily banned GLBT guilds from forming in order to prevent harassment of GLBT characters (We can't let women in the workplace! They'll be harassed!)). You'd think that fantasy roleplaying would welcome GLBT characters.

For some reason this whole thing reminds me of a girl I dated when I was 18 (she was 17). Well the story actually deals with after we broke up. She started dating a 30 year old man that I worked with at the time. I'm not stating any specific rules of the universe, but I thought it was kind of creepy, his 30 to her 17. It was even more creepy when I learned that he wasn't joking when he extended an offer to play 3 AM dungeons and dragons at the McDonalds at the highway overpass. I almost went, just to see who else would show up, but I was afraid that I would like it too much.

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We continue to follow the pursuits of the brain-in-a-jar. All men are created equal, and allowed the pursuit of happiness, but what exactly makes the grey matter tick?

You try spending thirty years cooped up in a science laboratory, then maybe you'll have an idea of what goes on in his head.

Come to think of it, when I did work in a science laboratory, there was some pretty cool equipment. I could keep myself busy for, oh say three years with no access to my hands.

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Did you hear the one about the clashing religious cultures?

I can't quite figure out why most people don't realize that religion is a touchy subject. World leaders should have people proofreading their speeches to omit words like "Crusade" or refrain from using "Freedom" as a codeword for American Colonization.

Likewise, newspaper editors should realize that they should think twice about publishing cartoons of The Prophet Mohammed with a bomb under his turban. I mean, I get the point, the point has to be made. But, it's a western style of criticism and humor that isn't taken very well in the middle east.

On the other hand, it's not like we're never offensive at the Postmodern Sideshow. For example, click on the picture to read this comic. That's a good example of offense.

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It was a bad week for the world. Bush explained to everyone that we're a nation of oil-junkies making man-beasts and calling down the wrath of god. He also explained that even though the war he started under false pretenses (whose false pretenses has the middle east up-in-more-arms-than-usual) must be carried out, otherwise we're a bunch of pussies and bearded men will come and attack us again.

It was also bad for virtual worlds. Many sci-fi authors have tackled the issue of virtual rights, but one right was solidly denied last week by Blizzard Entertainment. Their game World Of Warcraft has displaced evercrack as the lead American Fantasy Pale Skin Spectacular Sword and Sorcery Simulation. Apparently some WOW citizens wanted to create a GLBT guild. Blizzard banned this practice as it may create Harassment. That's right. The bigots have won without even exerting any effort. Because some people might not be mature enough to deal with the facts of life, they are allowed to be coddled from things that may offend them, even though they are guaranteed by our constitution. Hooray private enterprise! Don't ask Don't tell. The year is 2006 and we have definitely started regressing.

A buncha other disturbing things happened regarding civil rights, people getting a-sploded, and corporations solidifying their right above private citizenry. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to a corporation, but they shouldn't have more rights than a human being).

That is why, I bring you the best knock-knock joke ever. Click on the picture and delve deep into the realm of the Postmodern Sideshow's secret laboratory.

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So Tuesday the 31st is the State of the Union Address from Mr. Bush. It's kind of like the World Series of Lies, Misinformation, and Propaganda.

I'm not going to beat a dead horse by going over the specifics, but if you remember, three years ago, Mr. Bush made his case to go to war.

This year is going to be worse. So, in the spirit of yelling at the T.V. and pulling your hair out in disgust, we're showing an excerpt from the book "Introductory Swearing 3rd edition". If you like the excerpt, you should run out and buy a copy before you watch the address. It will come in handy.

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So my cat bit me and I called him a dickhead. I mean cute paws aside, the little man had it coming. If I bit you, would you be in such a good mood? After I swore at him, I had flashbacks of other adults chastising me and my siblings for swearing. Little did they know that our parents taught us some good ones to put them in their place. Some people call it white-trash, but I’m not the one who burned my face while making meth in my studio apartment.

You see, by repressing swearing in our children it under-prepares them for the world. You can only candy coat the world for so long before the long-term psychological ramifications set in. Some people actually believe that they don’t have to work for a living, and that the world owes them something. By failing to teach them words like fuck and shit, you fail to teach them the reason why those words exist at all. Life is shitty and every once in awhile you get to fuck, but most of the time you’re getting fucked. Screw this “you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it” shit. You’re going to slave away at your life and make stupid decisions at every turn because when you’re 17 you make 17 year-old mistakes, and when you’re 45 you make 45 year-old mistakes.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a cynic or anything. Life’s a celebration, man. Let’s just teach our kids about the relevance of suffering.

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I had a dream. It was a really weird dream. Everyone, regardless of race, gender, creed, or secret handshake, could play the drums as awesome as Neil Pert.

Someday, I hope that dream comes true. Until that time, you will have to trust our artist's rendering on how incredibly awesome that would be. It's like a pair of drumsticks. On your MIND!

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