David Hasselhoff not only has a special place in my heart. The hoff has a timeshare in my heart where I sell it to other people and give him the money. David is so special to me, that I eat lard drenched burritos to have heart attacks so that my scar tissue can be removed such that my heart is smaller and more likely to die in his honor and pass away in a cardiac effigy for my love for him.

That being said, I feel equally devoted to the titalating.

Merge to perfection:

via [googling burlesque; I wish that I had a random search generator, because it is always interesting]